Not ready to take my final run yet

I ran today.  I thought that I might never run again, but I did.

The last time that I went for a run was probably a year ago.  At the time, the only symptom that I had with my MS was a tingling leg and slightly less agility.  Over the last year, the symptoms have progressed a bit and I have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

For the last four months I have gotten serious about fitness.  Most days I do some combination of body weight exercises and either squats or riding a recumbent exercise bike for my legs and cardio.  As my balance has gotten worse though, I have accepted that my running and jumping days are behind me.

Until today, that is.  I’m not sure what the inspiration was.  Maybe reading online about others with ms that are running marathons and the like.  But whatever the catalyst, this afternoon I was on a mission to run again.

MS or not, everyone reaches a day where they can no longer go running.  With MS, that day comes sooner than we plan for.  This afternoon I thought, why does that have to be now?  What if I can still run?  What if I don’t reach that day in a month, or a year, or forty years?  How would I feel when that day came and I reflected back on how I hadn’t run all that time when I could have?

I had to try.  I strapped on my asics and headed out the front door.

I’m not going to lie.  It wasn’t easy.  My one leg is completely normal while the other is a little stiff, uncoordinated and weak.  This asymmetry made it a bit of a challenge.  But I don’t care.  I ran today.

In all honesty, I walked more than I ran on my run.  But I don’t care.  I ran today.

No doubt that the uneven strength and coordination of my legs caused a gait that must have appeared a little awkward to anyone watching me.  But I don’t care.  I ran today.

I thought that I might never run again, but I did today.  Everything is more precious if you realize that you might not have it for much longer.

I loved my run today and I am feeling really good about myself right now.

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